I am not pleased. That's an understatement. It seems as I was inspecting the TFC Lab and one of the larger cryo-chambers was activated. The one I happened to be standing in at the time. As such I've been frozen for the past 42 days and then had to undergo drug therapy and rehab for the past 48 hours. The entire TFC lab got a write up for that one.
I couldn't be too mad, however, as it did prove that our current cryo technology is advanced enough to sustain a human in suspended animation for at least a month. Although it's a different story when the test comes from the accidental preserving of the head researcher and administrator of the facility. I still have some stiffness in my joints but the caloric-induced joint lubrication medication has been working quite well.
As such, I have no current updates on laboratory operations or experiments, I have an absolute mountain of paperwork that needs to be processed and filed. If something interesting comes across my desk, I'll be sure to post it up.
6.7.09
4th of July Mishap
As I just got back from my own vacation this morning, I heard news as to why the launch of the Ballistic Anomaly and Nihil-Gravitational Pyrotechnic Operations group's experimental showman's rocket, the "Alphanova," did not make its appearance as promised on Independence Day. It seems it was a miscommunication with the Western Air Defense Sector of NORAD.
We had planned the rocket to go off at 11:30 PM PST on the 4th of July. The communique that reached NORAD was simply stated as 11:30 PST, and not converted into military time as what should have been translated. As it hadn't been, when there was no launch just before noon, they gathered it was an error on our part and filed it away.
As such, when the rocket was launched at 11:30 PM PST, it was filed as an unknown and unscheduled launch. As such, it was destroyed shortly after launch, roughly 30km in the air, by their experimental missile defense laser system. This system, provided through our own research department directly to the WADS portion of the Air Defense branch, was a complete success. Let it be known that, while selfless in our search for knowledge and technology, the EBRL does not also keep its own interests close at heart.
So, in the end, it wasn't a complete disappointment. Our experimental laser system worked out wonderfully, garnering an extension on the contract with the USDoD. Our missile, while scrapped, will be improved upon for next year and we'll hopefully be sure to get all of our schedule and semantic terminology correct for our requests.
We had planned the rocket to go off at 11:30 PM PST on the 4th of July. The communique that reached NORAD was simply stated as 11:30 PST, and not converted into military time as what should have been translated. As it hadn't been, when there was no launch just before noon, they gathered it was an error on our part and filed it away.
As such, when the rocket was launched at 11:30 PM PST, it was filed as an unknown and unscheduled launch. As such, it was destroyed shortly after launch, roughly 30km in the air, by their experimental missile defense laser system. This system, provided through our own research department directly to the WADS portion of the Air Defense branch, was a complete success. Let it be known that, while selfless in our search for knowledge and technology, the EBRL does not also keep its own interests close at heart.
So, in the end, it wasn't a complete disappointment. Our experimental laser system worked out wonderfully, garnering an extension on the contract with the USDoD. Our missile, while scrapped, will be improved upon for next year and we'll hopefully be sure to get all of our schedule and semantic terminology correct for our requests.
3.7.09
Happy 4th Of July
Seeing as the staff has tomorrow off, except for essential personnel, I figured I should post a little early in celebrating the 4th of July. As the Eisbaer Blitzkrieg Research Laboratory main facility, the Puget Sound Hydrological Archology, resides in the United States it is a holiday we happily celebrate. The core of the celebration, fireworks, is something we here at the EBRL take very seriously. As such, we've dedicated one of our teams specifically for the task of our own show for the 4th.
Here a researcher from the BANGPOP group works on the final launch sequence for our 4th of July Celebrational Ballistic Missile. As noted, the tube is already partially flooded in anticipation of the sub-aquatic launch.The Ballistic Anomaly and Nihil-Gravitational Pyrotechnic Operations group has concocted quite a number for us this year. One of the branching nacelles of the EBRL, previously used in free fall studies and dimensional cascade resonance recreation has been converted to hold a firework of extraordinary size. It shall be launched at 11:30pm, PST, to a height of roughly 120km, ensuring detonation in the lower thermosphere.
They guarantee me that the resulting display should last for roughly thirty-five minutes, with a 14% margin of error, and visible through most of the northwestern quadrant. The resulting display will cover every spectrum of visible light and into the infrared and ultraviolet but falling just short of dangerous levels of x-ray or microwave radiation.
We all wait in anticipation of this great launch and hope that it will issue forth a surprise to all that brings forth merriment and wonder. When the sky lights up tomorrow night, remember: EBRL is here to build a better future for all of us.
Here a researcher from the BANGPOP group works on the final launch sequence for our 4th of July Celebrational Ballistic Missile. As noted, the tube is already partially flooded in anticipation of the sub-aquatic launch.
They guarantee me that the resulting display should last for roughly thirty-five minutes, with a 14% margin of error, and visible through most of the northwestern quadrant. The resulting display will cover every spectrum of visible light and into the infrared and ultraviolet but falling just short of dangerous levels of x-ray or microwave radiation.
We all wait in anticipation of this great launch and hope that it will issue forth a surprise to all that brings forth merriment and wonder. When the sky lights up tomorrow night, remember: EBRL is here to build a better future for all of us.
23.6.09
Cultural Entertainment Memo: Death Race
I recently received this memo from a member of our Cultural Entertainment Study Group and figured I would pass it on to share with the world as a whole. Most of the internal documentation at the research laboratory are top secret and never exposed to the light of day, much less the general public, but every once in a while we shall share a bit of what is brainstormed in these metal walls.
The group recently watched a movie called Death Race. This would be the recent vision of the movie, not the original 1970's movie Death Race 2000. One thought echoed resoundly at the end of the viewing - why is there not a video game based on this movie yet? The movie is a video game. It presents itself so perfectly that it's astounding they release games for movies such as Monster House and Wolverine, which may have elements of game play in them but don't present themselves so openly.
Main cases in point:
First of all, it screams for customization, which people love. Your character, falsely accused of murder or some other heinous crime, has been entered into the race as a chance to escape, find the real killer, and clear his name. Your character's name/callsign/look could all be customized to suit your taste. His skills could work on a RPG element, letting you up things such as reflexes, health, weapon skills, and the like for your own tastes.
Your navigator, the hot girl from the female penitentiary up the road made for "sex sells" element and to give people something to stare at, could either be chosen from a list of available inmates or custom made as well, with skills that also level and/or can be customized. With higher level skills/more talented navigators available as you level. Such abilities as showing you shortcuts on the map/compass, repairing the vehicle, reloading speeds, and so on.
The vehicle itself, this cries out for customization ability. Choosing your chassis, weapons, engines, armor, and upgrading the whole lot. Paint jobs, decals, and the like could all be added as well. Not to mention making better things available as you level.
Also, don't forget your pit crew. Hundred of inmates in a prison such as that, and having the right ones on your team helps. Special abilities such as weapons research, vehicle tuning, espionage, or sabotage would be ideal options when choosing who you want in your pit. Again, better personnel would make themselves available as you progress for whatever reason.
Now the levels, would this simply be "gain x experience to reach level z" or perhaps along the lines of gaining points for kills/race time/style/what have you and having everything based on that point system. Each level being increasingly more expensive.
Add online multiplay and a campaign that expands several hours and a potentially branching storyline and you have yourself a winner. Something that would get the producers happy and the gamers excited. The group as a whole is incredibly disappointed that this hasn't been made and would like someone to get on it as soon as possible.
Main cases in point:
- Movie is a series of races. That, in itself, is a game.
- The racers drive heavily armed/armored vehicles. A bonus to any racing game.
- Not only do they try to race to the finish, but they're trying to eliminate their opponents in the most spectacular way possible. Bonus cash and stunt points, anyone?
- There are POWER-UPs in the movie! Swords for unlocking offensive weapons, Shields for defensive weapons, and Deathsheads for spectacular kills! This game is practically writing itself.
- The racers are fighting for glory and freedom, to familiar themes in any video game.
- They present a variety of weapons, vehicles, drivers, and backgrounds.
First of all, it screams for customization, which people love. Your character, falsely accused of murder or some other heinous crime, has been entered into the race as a chance to escape, find the real killer, and clear his name. Your character's name/callsign/look could all be customized to suit your taste. His skills could work on a RPG element, letting you up things such as reflexes, health, weapon skills, and the like for your own tastes.
Your navigator, the hot girl from the female penitentiary up the road made for "sex sells" element and to give people something to stare at, could either be chosen from a list of available inmates or custom made as well, with skills that also level and/or can be customized. With higher level skills/more talented navigators available as you level. Such abilities as showing you shortcuts on the map/compass, repairing the vehicle, reloading speeds, and so on.
The vehicle itself, this cries out for customization ability. Choosing your chassis, weapons, engines, armor, and upgrading the whole lot. Paint jobs, decals, and the like could all be added as well. Not to mention making better things available as you level.
Also, don't forget your pit crew. Hundred of inmates in a prison such as that, and having the right ones on your team helps. Special abilities such as weapons research, vehicle tuning, espionage, or sabotage would be ideal options when choosing who you want in your pit. Again, better personnel would make themselves available as you progress for whatever reason.
Now the levels, would this simply be "gain x experience to reach level z" or perhaps along the lines of gaining points for kills/race time/style/what have you and having everything based on that point system. Each level being increasingly more expensive.
Add online multiplay and a campaign that expands several hours and a potentially branching storyline and you have yourself a winner. Something that would get the producers happy and the gamers excited. The group as a whole is incredibly disappointed that this hasn't been made and would like someone to get on it as soon as possible.
16.6.09
Cultural Entertainment Study #2
Word has gotten back to our CE Group concerning the X-Box repair status. Despite negotiations with our technical group and ever our PR representatives, the Microsoft Corporation refuses to do repairs on our units. It seems the private party that donated the unit to our research group has made a small, unauthorized change to the unit. So small it went completely undetected by all but the Microsoft repair center.
This modification? A flipped switch that keeps the coolant fan running constantly as opposed to heat-activated. This modification didn't even require opening the unit. Sadly, this puts a very large black-mark in the CE Group's study of the X-Box 360 and in the EBRL's general records.
However, thanks to an independent contractor, the CE Group should be back on their feet for more experiments regarding this aspect and unit. Overall, a very disappointing month for the group as a whole.
This modification? A flipped switch that keeps the coolant fan running constantly as opposed to heat-activated. This modification didn't even require opening the unit. Sadly, this puts a very large black-mark in the CE Group's study of the X-Box 360 and in the EBRL's general records.
However, thanks to an independent contractor, the CE Group should be back on their feet for more experiments regarding this aspect and unit. Overall, a very disappointing month for the group as a whole.
8.6.09
USC Experiment
It's been quite a busy week filling out all the necessary reports and forms for our latest experiment. On Saturday, the 30th of May, we did a psychological analysis of a focused group of EBRL specimens. Theses lab subjects, unknowing and therefore the perfect test subjects, were introduced to subliminal messaging and subsonic resonances filtered through the sound systems of a local gathering.
This local gathering, a yearly function known, appropriately, as the United States of Consciousness, was held for several hours from 8pm that evening until 4am the following morning. We had subdued a number of talented aural manipulators for the evening's experiment. These included the talented sonic mixologists under the guise of "The Crystal Method," and the band of distortionists known as "The Prodigy."
The experiment was a phenomenal success! However, I feel as though someone may have infiltrated our ranks and discovered our hardware just before The Prodigy began working. As such, their sound seemed to have been blaring out quite a bit louder and with less clarity due to our integrated hardware being removed in a rush.
Either way, the general sense of reality distortion was mild but clearly present. We have recorded the available data and will be working harder to enhance the abilities of our sonic-driven reality distortion device. All things come in good time.
This local gathering, a yearly function known, appropriately, as the United States of Consciousness, was held for several hours from 8pm that evening until 4am the following morning. We had subdued a number of talented aural manipulators for the evening's experiment. These included the talented sonic mixologists under the guise of "The Crystal Method," and the band of distortionists known as "The Prodigy."
The experiment was a phenomenal success! However, I feel as though someone may have infiltrated our ranks and discovered our hardware just before The Prodigy began working. As such, their sound seemed to have been blaring out quite a bit louder and with less clarity due to our integrated hardware being removed in a rush.
Either way, the general sense of reality distortion was mild but clearly present. We have recorded the available data and will be working harder to enhance the abilities of our sonic-driven reality distortion device. All things come in good time.
25.5.09
Curse You, Pirates!
It seems I did, indeed, doom us all! During the long weekend as we were manned with only a skeleton crew and minimal security, we had a major break-in. The notorious Capt. Robert and his dastardly crew came in through the air exchange system, disabled three security guards, and stole several key pieces to our Calgori Lunar-Etheral Conversion Manifold prototype. Thankfully, the data is still intact, so we'll be able to rebuild.
However, those damnable air pirates set us back several months and we can't seem to track down their ship, the Ophelia. If any of you out there knows where we can find them, or has the location of our missing Calgori Lunar-Etheral Conversion Manifold it would be of great service. Now I need to check on the medical reports of our security guards. Thankfully, nothing serious, just a strong sedative and mild hallucinogenic.
Damned pirates.
However, those damnable air pirates set us back several months and we can't seem to track down their ship, the Ophelia. If any of you out there knows where we can find them, or has the location of our missing Calgori Lunar-Etheral Conversion Manifold it would be of great service. Now I need to check on the medical reports of our security guards. Thankfully, nothing serious, just a strong sedative and mild hallucinogenic.
Damned pirates.
22.5.09
Quiet Weekend
It's been a quite week here at the EBRL. Nothing terribly wild has occurred in any of the laboratories, none of the researchers have had a eureka moment yet, save the incident in the cafeteria yesterday but that was later discovered to just be a stray piece of eggplant Parmesan that had been dropped two weeks ago. As well, there have been no major breakdowns in equipment.
If anything, the arcology has been holding up surprisingly well. I'd wager the good weather has been favorable with the tides so the structure hasn't been tested and the power plants are producing adequate energy.
In all honesty, with the way the facility is usually in a state of hectic chaos, I am waiting for the steel-toed safety boot to drop. Security gets edgy when all is quiet as well, but I'm sure the weekend will relax most everyone. Only a select few who are undergoing time-sensitive projects or labs that require constant monitoring will be manned for the next three days.
I'm sure I'm being unjustly paranoid and it will be a safe weekend for all involved.
Or have I just doomed us all by saying that?
If anything, the arcology has been holding up surprisingly well. I'd wager the good weather has been favorable with the tides so the structure hasn't been tested and the power plants are producing adequate energy.
In all honesty, with the way the facility is usually in a state of hectic chaos, I am waiting for the steel-toed safety boot to drop. Security gets edgy when all is quiet as well, but I'm sure the weekend will relax most everyone. Only a select few who are undergoing time-sensitive projects or labs that require constant monitoring will be manned for the next three days.
I'm sure I'm being unjustly paranoid and it will be a safe weekend for all involved.
Or have I just doomed us all by saying that?
18.5.09
Cultural Entertainment Study #1
Received an interesting report from our Cultural Entertainment case study group. It seems a rather local company by the name of Microsoft produces a sub-par product. According to my research, this is nothing new and they're actually well known for this "flaw" in their business design.
This particular device that our study group was looking over is known as an X-Box 360. It received high marks in entertainment value, availability of extra material, and visual asthetics. However, barely five months into our case study the unit ceased to function.
At first it would cease all action response: a total cessation of movement on screen and auditory projection. After following standard tech support protocol, out CE group attempted to use the device again which resulted in, what is commonly known as, a Red Ring of Death. Any further attempts to resolve the issue failed and thus the study group is left without an X-Box unit.
Fortunately, due to our position as a research and development group, we're able to get the unit serviced by Microsoft free of charge. It is rumored, however, that this service is not expedient and may take as much as a month to resolve. This will be noted and the previously high marks the group was lending to the device has since plummeted.
I, for one, am hoping that the unit fails again once back in the hands of the study group. Should this occur, I will be using the parts in an experimental piece of weaponized robotics currently on bid to a middle eastern country. With this track record, we can put a short warranty on the device and when it inevitably crashes on them we will be able to shrug off any support unless properly compensated.
This particular device that our study group was looking over is known as an X-Box 360. It received high marks in entertainment value, availability of extra material, and visual asthetics. However, barely five months into our case study the unit ceased to function.
At first it would cease all action response: a total cessation of movement on screen and auditory projection. After following standard tech support protocol, out CE group attempted to use the device again which resulted in, what is commonly known as, a Red Ring of Death. Any further attempts to resolve the issue failed and thus the study group is left without an X-Box unit.
Fortunately, due to our position as a research and development group, we're able to get the unit serviced by Microsoft free of charge. It is rumored, however, that this service is not expedient and may take as much as a month to resolve. This will be noted and the previously high marks the group was lending to the device has since plummeted.
I, for one, am hoping that the unit fails again once back in the hands of the study group. Should this occur, I will be using the parts in an experimental piece of weaponized robotics currently on bid to a middle eastern country. With this track record, we can put a short warranty on the device and when it inevitably crashes on them we will be able to shrug off any support unless properly compensated.
15.5.09
Metaflora Genome Lab #1
Wandered into the Metaflora Genome containment lab and discovered that several of the subjects of study had made their way out of their observation chambers. A few of the researchers were looking for them desperately but to no avail. They seemed to have made their way out of the lab and into the rest of the center.
As such, our morning was spent with a biological hazard lock-down. The HAZMAT crew had to keep us confined to the east cafeteria as they ran scans throughout the rest of the EBRL. In the end, we spent about three hours waiting patiently with alternating processes of blood tests for infections and chemical showers to clean off any symbiotic growth.
Thankfully, just after lunch, the crew had found the last subject had, in fact, stuffed one of the MG researchers into a closet and assumed his form. All is back to normal and the lock-down has been released so I'll be able to make it home this evening. It made for an interesting morning indeed, and the electronic locks have been doubled-up with hard locks as well so tight-frequency electrostatic discharges will no longer pop the doors on the chambers.
As such, our morning was spent with a biological hazard lock-down. The HAZMAT crew had to keep us confined to the east cafeteria as they ran scans throughout the rest of the EBRL. In the end, we spent about three hours waiting patiently with alternating processes of blood tests for infections and chemical showers to clean off any symbiotic growth.
Thankfully, just after lunch, the crew had found the last subject had, in fact, stuffed one of the MG researchers into a closet and assumed his form. All is back to normal and the lock-down has been released so I'll be able to make it home this evening. It made for an interesting morning indeed, and the electronic locks have been doubled-up with hard locks as well so tight-frequency electrostatic discharges will no longer pop the doors on the chambers.
13.5.09
New Star Trek Movie Spin
While I haven't seen this movie yet as my research takes up a considerable amount of my time, I have heard quite a bit about it and know the big "plot twist" that makes it canon while not canon at the same time. As such it gave me an idea for a new Star Trek series.
Picture if you will the perfect combination of Star Trek and the old show Sliders. A new ship, equipped with an experimental drive that can tunnel through dimensions and alternate-space. The whole "alternate universe" theory is a very common plot hook for many an episode of Star Trek, no matter the series, so why not just base a series on it? Then you could cater to hundreds of fan-based "what-if?" scenarios. It'd be like Voyager, only it would make sense why all the weird phenomena was happening to this crew.
If Paramount ever decides to go with this idea, I'd like them to know that I'd be happy to take Original Idea credit and perhaps a co-writer or consultant position.
Picture if you will the perfect combination of Star Trek and the old show Sliders. A new ship, equipped with an experimental drive that can tunnel through dimensions and alternate-space. The whole "alternate universe" theory is a very common plot hook for many an episode of Star Trek, no matter the series, so why not just base a series on it? Then you could cater to hundreds of fan-based "what-if?" scenarios. It'd be like Voyager, only it would make sense why all the weird phenomena was happening to this crew.
If Paramount ever decides to go with this idea, I'd like them to know that I'd be happy to take Original Idea credit and perhaps a co-writer or consultant position.
The EBRL
Welcome to the first notes entered for the Eisbaer Blitzkrieg Research Laboratory's lab notebook. Here we will be placing ideas, comments, research data, and continued notes concerning all aspects of the EBRL's work in various fields of research, study, and development. As such, everything presented herein is property of the EBRL and its lead researchers unless otherwise stated or quoted.
Please, take your time and enjoy. By all means, leave comments, questions, and inquiries in concerns to the EBRL, its researchers, or about the topics presented and we'll respond and field them to the best of our abilities.
Thank You,
Eisbaer Blitzkireg
Head Researcher
Please, take your time and enjoy. By all means, leave comments, questions, and inquiries in concerns to the EBRL, its researchers, or about the topics presented and we'll respond and field them to the best of our abilities.
Thank You,
Eisbaer Blitzkireg
Head Researcher
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